Option A:
“You gave that idiot $500?” Sam fumed as he glared at his wife in anger. “We just gave him $1200 three weeks ago!” His eyes were filled with fire. “What were you thinking?”
“Honey, he’s your brother!” Sue pleaded. “He’s just been so lost since your mother passed… What was I supposed to do, let him lose his house?”
“He’s been drinking ever since! He needs to get a job – get back in control of his life – pay his own bills for a change.” He waved both hands at her in disgust. “I lost my mom, too. That doesn’t give me permission to dive into the bottom of a bottle and stay there! Sara’s left him. She took the kids back to her folks. What, am I supposed to do, just support him for the rest of his life?” He balled up his fists and shouted in her face, “He’s gotta’ get a grip! It’s not our job to keep bailing him out. Don’t you understand?”
Option B:
“Honey, I saw a withdrawal for $500 from our account today. Do you know what that might be, or do I need to call the bank?” Sam scratched his head in disbelief.
Sue came in and leaned over her husband. “Baby, do you trust me?”
The quiz on his face was a bit pained. “What have you done, now? Please don’t tell me you’ve been talking to Joe…” She nodded half a smile his way. “You know I just gave him some money three weeks ago, right?” She placed her hands on his shoulders, reassuring him she was on the same team.
“Babe, Sara signed the boys up for camp with the Youth Group, and the deadline was yesterday. I figured after losing their grandma, the least we could do was make sure they held onto something normal this summer.” She leaned down and gave Sam a hug. “This thing’s kinda’ knocked Joe for a loop. He’s not handling it as well as you are. We’ve got to pray he gets his mojo back and quits drinking. It’s killing their family. She’s taken the boys back to her folks for a few weeks.”
Sam reached for her hand. “LORD, please show us what You’re doing. I thank you for a wife with such a big heart for our family. Give me an opportunity to talk with my brother – to encourage him to seek help – to pull him out of the emotional mess he’s in right now. You love him, and we just want him to know he doesn’t have to do this thing all alone. Help us give him the help he needs, in Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
“Hey Hon, could you do me a favor?” She looked down at him and nodded. “Can we pray about this stuff together next time? I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.” Sue came in for a big hug from her man.
“Sure thing, Baby!” She held the embrace. “Thanks for being on my team!”
Anger.
It can be as destructive as a wildfire. Unchecked, it can destroy a friendship, incite a riot, or tear apart the fabric of a marriage. To allow the sun to set on your anger can sink roots of bitterness and unforgiveness deep in your heart. Is anger a part of your life experience? Are you a recipient of someone’s rage, or are you the delivery agent who has tested the limits of others?
Yet, there is a positive side to anger. It serves much better to inform me, than it does for me to inflict it upon another. If you want to redeem your anger as a force for good, check this out.
If looked upon objectively, anger will point to a ‘right’ I have, which I think has been violated. This informs me. You see, if I’ve given my life to God, then I really have no ‘rights’ of my own. God gets to call the shots. He is the one with the plan and purpose to life. The only question is whether or not I am willing to submit and be obedient to Him. Once I see that here, at the root of my anger, I have taken back a ’right’ which fairly belongs to God, then I can repent, seek forgiveness, and grow, as I submit to His loving correction. If He is LORD, this is the only favorable response. Any other calls into question, “Is he truly LORD?”
Another advantage to anger is it helps me see areas where I need to pray for God’s intervention. When I see evil in this world, it often angers me. This is not a bad thing. Still, it is not mine to confront unless clearly directed to do so, by God. Even in such a case as divine instruction, I am first called to examine my own eye for a plank of offense before I charge in to deal with my neighbor’s speck. If I’ve correctly done this, there will be a gentler, kinder approach the Holy Spirit will guide me into, than if I had charged into it on my own.
Sometimes anger can be a training opportunity for me to learn to love unlovely people. This is supposed to be a clear difference in the lives of those God has called. It is NOT a skill which comes naturally to any of us. Rather it is given us only as we yield to the Holy Spirit and fight the temptation to choke out those individuals we think desperately need it! How many times has God held others in check when we’re the one being the horse’s ass in a situation. Let’s face it, none of us ever wants to get what we deserve! Just as we have been given much grace and mercy, we owe it to God to pay it forward into the lives of others.
The following verse has been instrumental in redirecting me in this matter:
“The bondservant of the LORD must not be quarrelsome, but kind to all. Able to teach, patient when wronged, gently instructing those who are in opposition if, perhaps, the LORD might grant them repentance, leading to a knowledge of the truth, that they might come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil who has held them captive to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:24-26 NASB
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